I watch a lot of television (includes gaming) probably 20-40 hours; when I am not in school. I learn from television (Animal Planet, Discovery, Syfy, H2, etc) but I also use it as an escape from the plagues of the world and personal life; entire Reality TV (RTV). The issue arises when RTV is becoming a part of my reality. RTV is entertaining whether it is “Chopped” or “Freakshow”. Real Housewives of New Jersey (RHONJ) is one of my favorites; I love the petty drama and overindulgence. This season however is less about the reality for television and more about the reality of their lives. Loyalty and change are a constant subject matter for this show.
People change and if you have not changed then that is a shame. I am not the person I was in high school, I am not the person I was at 25, hell I am not the same person I was three months ago. I am constantly changing, evolving, growing, and learning. Last night’s episode of RHONJ featured a woman named Jen who states Melissa has changed since marrying Joe. Of course, she has changed! She changed her last name, she changed who comes first in her life among all others, she has changed the way she thinks and considers how any and everything can affect her marriage. I am speaking about a married woman and ignoring the fact she is on television and has three children. I now realize why couples only hang out with other couples, because you no longer do the things you once did as a single person. Every man/woman isn’t a bar crawling club head but if you have friends that still are, you know you can’t hang with them if you are married or in a stable committed relationship. Hanging with friends (the sexy singles) can or will end your relationship. You may end up in a situation where you are still trying to prove you are “still that guy/girl” and that never ends well.
• You can longer be “THE OCCUPIER” who is talking to the other man/woman while your friend is trying to get their mack on. Some people call the occupier a “wing-man”
• You get a little drunk, maybe a lot drunk and now you are making out with some stranger
• Worst case scenario; you end up fighting your friend because you try to leave and someone calls you “pussy-whipped”, “sell out”, or my favorite “Karen”
Loyalty is subjective and I learned that the hard way. Kinship does not guarantee loyalty, friendship does not guarantee loyalty, and matrimony does not guarantee loyalty. Loyalty is qualified by an individual and not the title they possess nor the “things” they have done over the course of time.
On RHONJ, the sister, Teresa is feuding with her brother, Joe, because she dislikes his wife, Melissa. Teresa has tried everything to break up their marriage. Joe defends his wife and even when Teresa’s husband called her a “cunt” he came to her defense. Joe is loyal, too bad it is not reciprocated. Teresa feels Joe should take her side because they are siblings. Loyalty will shift when there is change between the two parties and it is never handled gracefully. Rumors will swirl, lies will be told, and secrets leaked.
I urge everyone to step back, evaluate every relationship with individuals in your life and decide if they are part of your growth or are they part of your stunt…and I do not mean that in the cool 50 Cent way of “STUNT”
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