It was all good just a week ago

Ever date someone (months, not days/weeks) and everything is going swell. Talk for hours, go to the movies, see a show, take long strolls in the park, have dinner, make each other dinner, buy each other little "treats" aka the "I was just thinking about you gifts" and fuck like rabbits/porn stars/superhead, whatever your twist.

The dating is over and you say, lets make it official, let's be an exclusive monogamous couple.

It seems as if the word couple killed dating and your relationship of fun has now become a stagnant sexless bore.

What happened? I'll tell you what happened, the "Gotcha Now" happened. Its a disorder that women/men (but mostly women) surfaces once they have been coupled. Kinda like bipolarism really kicking in when a woman turns 30 even though it laid dormant all those previous years....another subject.

Here are the symptoms of the "Gotcha Now" disorder:

---Cancels out the talk for hours, leaving each conversation to a one word answer.

---Movies are only seen on Saturday HBO and even then, he/she is texting while the movie is on.

---Show, what's that. Why should I buy tickets, you just brought the CD.

---Stroll in the park, NO, because that would lead to talking and talking consists more than one word answers.

---Dinner, suddenly he or she can no longer cook. Everything seems to keep getting burned.

---Make each other dinner, again burnt food and forgetting how to turn the oven on

---The thinking of you treats, well they aren't thinking of you, thus NO TREATS.

---Sex, well unfortunately, it stops, not slows but stops. You hint, nudge, then flat out ask. They look at you like you are asking them mate with a donkey or your request is just totally ignored.

If you are experiencing any of this, run as far and as fast as you can. It will only get worse. He/She (mostly she) now has her hooks in you and just like Hell Raiser, you will be torn to pieces until nothing is left of your former self. You will be unrecognizable to yourself and others and wondering, how did I get here.

 

Shout out to Nino for "GOT"